It has been some time.
Not sure since when, but the difficulty to smile and the blanket of melancholy has been wrapping itself around me for some time.
I can't be sure if I have been making an effort to work on the muscles or to take off the blanket. But whatever it seems that I am doing, is not showing up much in the results.
It's been hard. Hard to smile, hard to find the energy to do things, hard to be enthusiastic, hard to be a little more positive about things. The only positives I have encountered this year are the ones on the ART kits, which ironically, really haven't been so negative to get.
I used to attribute it to hormones. The few days in the months, the odd outbursts, the called-for frustrations. But it doesn't seem that way anymore. The 'few', 'odd', and 'called-fors' seem to have crept under my skin and diffused into my bloodstream and traveled all over the system.
What is happening?
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