Saturday, March 19, 2022

What is happening?

 It has been some time.

Not sure since when, but the difficulty to smile and the blanket of melancholy has been wrapping itself around me for some time.

I can't be sure if I have been making an effort to work on the muscles or to take off the blanket. But whatever it seems that I am doing, is not showing up much in the results.

It's been hard. Hard to smile, hard to find the energy to do things, hard to be enthusiastic, hard to be a little more positive about things. The only positives I have encountered this year are the ones on the ART kits, which ironically, really haven't been so negative to get.

I used to attribute it to hormones. The few days in the months, the odd outbursts, the called-for frustrations. But it doesn't seem that way anymore. The 'few', 'odd', and 'called-fors' seem to have crept under my skin and diffused into my bloodstream and traveled all over the system. 

What is happening? 

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