To My Biggest Fan on your 10th Birthday

Where do I even begin? Even when you were in my womb, I had been praying hard for you. You were our rainbow baby, given to us by God after a baby with no heartbeat. You were the first pregnancy that I had fears never imagined before. On the day you were born, it was raining big hailstones outside, and I remember the moment you popped out of me, I asked Daddy if you were okay.

But here we are. You are officially two whole hands old. An entire decade of life is behind you. Double digits! And in some ways, it makes me a bit emo and sentimental.

You've always been that tender-hearted boy I tell everyone about. Even when you were in preschool, the teachers will tell me how you take care of the newbies and the younger Hazel. Till today, it makes me so proud to still hear your teachers observe the same thing about how you care for your friends in school. It is a wonderful nature that God gave you, that hopefully will stay with you always, and not be taken away by any setbacks or obstacles in life, or Daddy and Mummy's poor parenting skills😖

Perhaps because of your more emotional nature, you might have felt somewhat second place to 姐姐, or being side-lined to 妹妹 or 弟弟's wants and needs. Although you enjoy school even though it's further from home, it vexes you that you are always not prioritised when it comes to picking or sending. And even though I know you understand why it is so, you are caught between giving in to the situation and speaking up for what you want. I know, my son, I know. And I'm sorry that sometimes I yell and get frustrated at you for not understanding when I could have been more empathetic towards how you feel. And for all those times, I'm sorry.

You may feel short-changed sometimes, but please, never ever believe in your heart that we love you less. Even when we are giving you constructive feedback, the objective is to inspire you to be a better you, and not because we think you are lousy; when we feel you could have pushed yourself further, it is so that you KNOW you can be better than what you are now. My prayer for you is to learn to always look at the positive side of things, and not be fixated on what you don't have or don't get to enjoy.

Although your learning attitude (not just for school but in other areas as well) irks me at times. I hope you understand that Mummy is also constantly reminding myself of your strengths in particular areas, and to encourage you to find things you feel passionate about to do. Nope, not just Pokemon or Lego, or Among Us or Mario 😑

I pray our connection is always strong and that you will always be my biggest fan. My love for you is unending and unconditional. Forever. Unbreakable. Unbendable. Always!

We love you so much that we don't know where it ends, but God loves you even more,

Mummy