Just a letter to remember this episode by

 Dear 大宝贝,

You would remember the story I have told you before, about being sorely disappointed when I was not picked out of a box to be a prefect. I recall after I got off the school bus, I went to the swing at the playground (last time the exercise area downstairs of 414 was a sand playground with swings), and sat there for a long time feeling sad. I think MAMA must have noticed and she probably did ask me after, but I cannot remember the details of it.

I'm glad you are taking it better than I did. And you are also taking it better than I am for you now. After you told me that the rest of them in the class who went through the interview got through except for you, I felt very bad for you. It bothered me so much I kept praying and telling God about it. In my human capacity I know God has His plans and purposes, but in the same human capacity, I cannot understand it. Yet. And so I kept praying for God to help me, and also you, to overcome this nagging feeling in me. I got to admit, even till today, I still find it hard to comprehend, but I choose to believe that it is God's protection over you and, THAT protection is far more important to accept than anything that He allows you to go through (for example the interview, and the disappointment of not making it after).

And perhaps you are better than me at accepting disappointments, which is a great virtue to have! Because you are then able to recover more quickly from your current position, and move on faster to something else to work on and achieve. There is really no point in hanging on to sadness and disappointment.

It is not easy to be the big kid in the family. I know it because I am one myself. Yet sometimes I can't help but impose the same 'standards' on you that I was subjected to. It's a 'habit', which I constantly remind myself to kick. So, thank you for bearing with all my nonsense when I get frustrated and angry and impatient and hormonal. Thank you for still be willing to share your stories, joys and disappointments. And thank you also for always being willing to hug me, say goodnight to me, and tell me you love me even when you might still be struggling with your own emotions. Like I said, even if the Asian parent don't always express their love in the most AWESOME ways, our love runs as deep, and as wide as any angmo parent.

In His love and mine,

Mummy