A Letter to My Biggest Fan on his Biggest Hurdle to date

Dear Son

I only wanted to write you this letter much closer to the PSLE. But I think, perhaps for you, this letter may serve better as a motivator much earlier. Three months from now, you will be taking “the big tests”. The one you have been told all your life to overcome. The one you face with sian-ness. The huge one that you can’t wait for it to be over. The one you are always questioning if it is the right time to be doing. IT IS FINALLY GOING TO BE HERE/OVER SOON!

Two months after that we will know how it all went. It might show us some areas where you surprised yourself, some parts where you are spot on how you might do, and yet others that you still need to work on to master (Actually, only 4 subjects right. Where got so many parts to talk about?! HAHAHAHAHA). It will show how you did on your first major examinations, over a few days of your life this year. If your life was a Lego creation, PSLE would be just that one piece in it. It tells that one small part of the story of YOU.

But there are so many things PSLE cannot and will not measure. It will not measure the tenderness in your heart, your love towards family, your creativity, or your ability to be a good friend. It cannot tell what an amazing brother, son, and person you are growing up to be. It will not show the time that you offered to carry the bag for 公公 during our zoo outing, that moment in the toilet when you offered to help 弟弟 wash his backside, the many moments in VBS where you looked out for and after your cousins, the many many, MANY MANY Lego creations you have come up with, the struggles you overcame to persevere at your studies, or the many love notes you have penned for me. These are the things that really matter, and your PSLE results will not show it. Mama only hopes that one day you will find something that you truly enjoy doing and find the inner motivation to work on it like how you pour your heart and passion into building your Legos.

Coming into this year, you have shown so much more maturity and steadiness. I am most heartened to see you getting along better with 姐姐, and you may not feel this, but it really eased the anxiety and sadness in me so much. You have also taken on so much more responsibility and accountability towards your work. Seeing you work hard towards every assessment makes me so proud and comforted. I am sorry I struggle so much between pushing you to study and just chilling about it. The PSLE is important, so do your best for it, but more importantly, continue to live out the tender-hearted nature that God has given you. You are a beautiful soul, and I am so proud and blessed to have you as my son forever. Remember to pray always, seek God's words more often than you thought you would, and abide by Him. Mama loves you but God loves you even more.

加油，你行的！