My Strong-Willed, High-Needs Baby and How to Cope with Her

As I read Cave Mother's blog of a similar title, identifying so closely to it almost brought tears to my eyes. How often have I told someone, she is not easy, and the look is almost always of feigned understanding? Not that people are being hypocritical, just that, without being her primary caregiver 24/7, the been-there-done-thats think they can empathise with the level of 'difficulty' I am going through. Afterall, which baby does not cry right?

I wonder what took me so long to Google on 'difficult baby'. Not that Cave Mother's blog brought any new revelation; rather, to actually see the familiarity of the 'difficulty' being penned down by another mum brings reality closer to the heart knowing I'm not out there alone.

So what is my strong-willed and high needs baby like?

Crying is (almost) always accompanied by screaming

Always needing to nurse to sleep at night

Wakes easily and intermittently when napping in the day

Naps in the day can only take place in the rocker or sarong, and ONLY AFTER she is rocked in the arms till dozing off. Otherwise the only other way is to latch and sleep with her.

Crying AND screaming for hours on end before nap and bedtime

Wanting my nipple in her mouth all the time (in the first 3 months)

Almost always waking if I ever tried to put her down asleep in her cot for a day-nap

Can never stay in a position to play for more than 15 mins, be it the rocker, on a bed, or in the Bumbo

Never being content to just sit and watch what was going on around her - needing movement all the time

Sometimes even after movement is provided in the form of carrying and walking around, she's still not contented and will start crying AND screaming again

There was a time she simply cried whenever she was not feeding or sleeping

If you are reading this and had thought you understood what a difficult baby is, I hope this gives a fresh perspective on what the parents and caregiver of this baby have been facing.

This paragraph particularly tugged at my heartstring:
"I spent many hours searching the web and the bookshelves for answers. Nothing anybody had written seemed to apply to my baby - she just didn't do what the books said she was supposed to. Reading general parenting forums can be an exquisitely depressing experience for the parent of a high needs baby because everyone else's babies sound so easy (even though their parents still complain about them)."

Exactly what I did! And exactly how I feel! How many times have I heard someone advise me to 'train' my baby, or tell me that every baby is the same, or that it is only a phase, and that after 3 months things will be better? Or how I am advised to do this or that simply because it worked for them and hence it is assumed it will work for her?

While I appreciate the tons of baby literature abundantly available, from the very beginning of this parenthood, we had subconsciously acknowledged that she's no 'model' or 'usual' baby who will abide by the rules and routines prescribed by eminent experts and authors.

I do not know for how long she will continue to be strong-willed and high-needs. But I do know for as long as she remains so, she will deviate from the norms of just another baby.

With this, I'd like to end with Philippians 4:4 -
"Rejoice in the Lord alway; and again I say, Rejoice"