Wishing I could change things, but I know I can't.
There's a sense of helplessness there, a tinge of doubt. The doubt in that all things happen for a reason. So, what reason was it?
I cannot answer that, and I dunno how to answer that. For the first time in my life, I feel truly defeated. Crushed. Pained. Yet not knowing how to react.
There's no anger, no angst, no palpitations. It's a worm that starts off from the surface of your skin, and slowly eating into your flesh, then your bones, then your heart, your core. When the worm's inside there, you cant dig it out; not with your fingers, not with any tools or lasers or medication. The pain is mild, but it's there, and you know it's there. After some time, the skin just closes up on the flesh, and you realise, the worm stays in there. Forever.
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