Discouraged

As the date inches towards BGM, there is zero sense of enthusiasm. Not sian. Really. Just... discouraged.

Getting members to come for a meeting is difficult. Getting support for joint projects is difficult. Getting people to submit the relevant forms is difficult. Getting people to join the next term is difficult. And because of all these 'pressure' to do things, one by one, they are saying they will not be joining the next term.

The 'pressure' to do things. Ha. If you don't want to do things, why do you join YEC in the first place? You just want to do the things you want to do. Then tell me, what have you done or is doing?

I had considered to address everyone on this issue, on my concerns, on my 'vision' for the next committee at one of our monthly meetings. In the end, we even had to cancel the last one due to low turnout.

I don't know what to say anymore. I often say that I'm not asking people to 'fulfill their responsibilities' as a YEC member. I'd rather hope that our friendship holds such that we do not mind filling in for each other when the time arises. Ya, I know that these meetings can be a chore. Waste of time. None of my business and interest. But if you can't go, it means someone has to go. So if you do not extend that helping hand of friendship to your counterpart, it could mean the person taking on multiple projects.

And ya, so you may go, 'can we don't go at all'. Can we? Of course we can. We want to function 'the way we want it'. We don't want to bow down to any external pressure at all in doing the things we 'do not like to do'. And because of that, we raise our hands in the air and say, ok, we're outta here. We're not gonna fight with you old fogeys and be entwined in all the silly politics and power-struggle. WE GIVE UP BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THE THINGS WE WANT TO DO.

I'n inheriting shit here you know. A whole dump. Everything is being dumped unto me. I can't get people to attend meetings, 'there's so many of us and no one can make it?'. I can't get enough people to join the next committee, then 'how come I can do it?'

They're not willing, and they don't want to, can I exert my influence on them? I don't even know what is my motivation now, I can't even decide if I do want to stay on and fight anymore.