I'm not trying to live up to anybody's expectations, but I feel really really incompetent.
I feel like I'm stuck forever in industries that I do not know, and they do not know me. We have no empathy for each other at all.
It's a terribly sinking feeling. I'm constantly observing the body language of my fellow colleagues and thinking about what they are thinking of my value-add. And I know I have none of it.
The learning curve is steep and there's no guidance. I'm terribly lost and afraid but there's no one to hold my hand and tell me what to do. People just assume that you oughta know and that you SHOULD get by and get on.
Am I afraid to ask? YES I AM. Why? I don't know. And even if I do have an answer for that, it will all sound like excuses, so why have a beautifully logical answer for it?
Why am I here? What should I do next? What is the next best thing to do? Do I just continue on like that, waiting? Why am I like that?
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