28 August 2006

It's so easy to lose track of why we are busy with what we are busy with. SSEAYP is taking up the largest chunk of my time & I can't even say I'm enjoying it to the fullest. Though I'm way past the stage of questioning the objectives of the trip to just focusing on 'getting it done' like an MBO till the end of e yr. It probably is something I doubt I'll ever regret doing, but at the same time, not something I'd say I'd choose to do it again despite the accolades from many many past contingents. Week after week we practise and practise for the pre-departure concert. It's hard work and can be fun, though the objectives of it, I can't think of any. CZ said we're full time performers. And at no labor cost. DUH.

Having come this far, can't even allow myself to think of opting outta it, though I've never seriously considered that since making the commitment. Being in this is a little like being in the military: contingent above self, when a decision is made, self-interest becomes immaterial, u can only choose to go with the decision, and fly the Singapore flag high, united as one. The ambassadorship and unity is highly emphasized, and this is really a very very 'foreign' learning experience & culture for me. Don't like it? Swallow it and move on. Glad I never had to be in the army.

I'm already thinking about what I wanna do when I am done with SSEAYP... it's like looking forward to the end when it hasn't even begun. Haha. If I do not accept boss's offer to stay on, and the SIP job don't materialize as well, I oughta be doing something as a source of income. Plus still be working towards the 3 year FBI course, and devote some time to voluntary work at a children's home on top of YEC commitment. And maybe pick up salsa if I can, so I can dance with my papa!

I'm more excited about post-SSEAYP than SSEAYP itself. And I'm not even sailing it yet. Shucks.