Lukewarm

I'm really a lukewarm christian.

"So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth" Revelation 3:16

Horrible thought.

I probably know the way to becoming a 'hot' christian (no pun intended). Read my bible daily, pray constantly, be a blessing to others, etc etc. It's almost like a formula that I can roll off my tongue easily.

But in reality, I can be doing all these and not be 'hot'. Let alone that I'm not even doing ALL of these.

As I read MC's victories claim in His glory, I can't help but compare it with my dull and lifeless spiritual life; as I come across yet another occurrence of someone falling prey to a chronic illness, I can't help but thank God for never having put me through such tribulation. Yet at the same time, I'm fearful; fearful that it will happen to me one day, fearful that when it happens, I can't walk through that suffering and will crumble under it.

How many times have I said 'I'll pray for you' and never did it? Simply because my memory bank only have space for my own affairs. MY work, MY schedule, MY holidays, MY unhappiness.

I dunwan God to ptui me out of His mouth :(